it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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