If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
