he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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