Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
