so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
