worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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