this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
