He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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