Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
