I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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