Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
