im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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