I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
