I didn't shave. On purpose
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize