Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How's work?
Spinning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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