I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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