I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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