I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
