Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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