Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
