I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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