do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
