I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
