We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
