Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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