Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
