i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He has the fingertips of a God
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