Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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