I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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