Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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