I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she pinky promised me she was 18
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You are the jesus of drinking
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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