I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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