I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The police scanner is talking about you again....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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