Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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