You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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