escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
