Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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