After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
