And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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