So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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