Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize