i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
