There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
