she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
