He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
