I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize