Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
