you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
