If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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