Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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