How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize