I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
