I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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