Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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