Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
