hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
