Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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