how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
