Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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